Remembering Jessica

Often times, with the most difficult decisions in my life, once I've made up my mind and know what I'm going to do, I'm no longer worried about doing it. Or telling others about it. It's less the action than the choice that is most important to me. Because once the choice has been made, the rest just happens. Regardless of how hard or easy living it out is, once the choice is made, there is peace.

On Sunday, February 28, 2010 I found out that a close family friend died in a car crash. She was 21 years old. No alcohol, drugs, or anything of that nature. In fact, it looks like she tried to avoid hitting a deer, but in the rain her car ended up careening over the side of a cliff. She hit a tree and died on impact.

I read an email from my mother-in-law, who is now in SC with the family, saying that this young woman felt a strong calling from God to go on a mission trip to Haiti. "Apparently Jessica had gone down the altar 2 Sundays ago and been prayed over and anointed by the pastor for a missions calling, particularly to Haiti. The church leadership had prayed together since then and decided that the church would sponsor Jess to go to Haiti and were going to tell her on Sunday. [The day after she died.] I guess Jess had just left her parent's house on Saturday night after pouring her heart out to them about her call to Haiti and them coming to some agreement as to her going."

One might ask, why would God call a person to missions, especially to a country with such a great need, and then allow for her to die before she could carry out the mission? I certainly can't answer this to anyone's satisfaction. But I do wonder if, in part, it was the decision, her personal commitment to go, that God was looking for. Maybe it isn't all about the action, but about where our hearts are and the choices we're willing to make.