Curling

How has curling helped me with my eating disorder? For one, I can't binge if I'm not home or near food. :-) More importantly, curling helps me because it has helped change my mindset about me.

First, I happen to do better when I know others are counting on me. As I said in an earlier post about dinner: if I know my husband will be home I eat better. When he's out of town, I barely care about what I eat. Today is a great example, he's in town but I subbed for a girl in curling tonight, so I fixed him up a plate of food to microwave when he came home. Because I was fixing up a plate for him, I made one for myself and had a healthy dinner before curling. Anyway, back to curling. I know the people on my team are counting on me, so even when my mind tells me "you're no good" or "I don't feel like doing anything but lying on the couch and sleeping all day," I feel compelled to get up and go curl. Without me, my team isn't complete and will forfeit (unless I find a sub, but my negative mindset doesn't usually give me time to do advance sub planning). So, because others count on me, I show up and curl which leads to me having fun (even when we lose).

Second, curling is a VERY SOCIAL sport. The winners buy the losers drinks afterward, so this is definitely up my alley. I have met some really interesting people from various regions/countries, age groups, professions, political/religious views, etc. Meeting other people and establishing some new friendships helps me to feel less alienated. The less alienated I feel, the less likely I am to binge.

Third, curling gets me moving. I am no marathon runner (or a sprinter). In fact, outside of sports, I have not been particularly fond of exercising. I wasn't even much of an individual sports person in high school. While I did play varsity tennis, I greatly preferred (and played better) in doubles than singles. I cross-country skied my 9th grade year in AK, but I liked practices with my team, team carbo-loads, and melting the wax on our skies together more than the actual racing. With the exception of the elliptical machine, which I could work out on while reading in grad school, I haven't been excited about exercising alone. Curling allows me to have fun, while forcing me to exercise. And because I want to get better for my team, I challenge myself to sweep harder and to be more flexible and balanced when I throw the stone. It's pretty cool and I appreciate that I'm moving out there. Plus, when I move around, I am also less inclined to binge. Maybe this is because of the "natural high" one gets when moving, or maybe it's the camaraderie on the ice, or maybe I want to just be at my best for curling, but I find I don't want to just stuff junk in my mouth. I hope to somehow sustain this movement when the season ends in a couple weeks.

Fourth, curling is hard but I've had some triumphs. The amount of physical and mental control one needs to play this game of finesse is pretty high. I have found that if my head isn't in the game, my form can be perfect but I will not make the shots. If my head is in the game, chances are high my shot will be decent. I am always encouraged when I make a good shot. It helps that the culture of the sport is encouraging, so others (both on your team and your opponent) often compliment you. I like getting compliments and since I'm learning to be open to them (along with feelings and emotions), I believe and appreciate them. I like that's I've taken on a challenge and am giving myself time to develop and improve. I love that I get to play with experienced and inexperienced players and all of them accept me for me, even though my skill level is that of a beginner. As I find patience for myself with curling and can literally feel myself improving as my body remembers what the "back of the house" weight feels like v. "biting blue" v. " a guard," I realize that this patience and acceptance of myself CAN be applied to me overcoming my binge eating disorder.

Fifth, curling really took me out of my comfort zone, yet I have fond success. My husband and I signed up for the six week (free) beginners curling clinic, but due to work he only made one class. I hated going alone. I hated having to make chit-chat and quick impressions. I felt awkward, unskilled, embarrassed, and fearful every week. I worried about no one talking to me and my cheeks burned when we sat in the clubhouse and I had no one to sit next to. But I forced myself to go every week and it got a little easier. Then I had to get 5 letters of recommendation to join the club, which meant I had to "cold call" current members and ask for these letters because I knew no one. That freaked me out to no end, but I told myself that the worst they could say was "no" and anyway, I really wanted to curl and this is what I had to do to make that happen. I made it happen. Each step I took over my comfort zone that brought me success was another step toward a renewed self-confidence. I haven't yet attended a bonspiel, but I signed up for the inter-club bonspiel at the end of the season and that will be one more step out of my comfort zone. Binge eating is my comfort zone, but I know I can step out of it and be better for it, just like with curling.

For these reasons, and the sheer fun of the game, I love curling. It is the right sport, at the right time, to meet my temperament, interests, and needs. It is a help to me in curbing my binges...honestly, I can't remember a Tuesday or Sunday binge (the days I curl). I don't think this is coincidence.