Elliptical

We bought an elliptical machine maybe a week + some change ago. I was both thrilled and scared. I'm thrilled because when I work out I feel better. I feel energized. I feel strong for having worked out. I feel scared though. Scared that I'll just substitute working out for food.

That might sound totally stupid. But, I've been obsessed with being thin before and I've counted calories obsessively before. I don't want my binge eating disorder to turn into anorexia or bulimia (you don't have to throw up to be bulimic, you just have to purge your binges and you can exercise to purge). Besides the good that comes with exercising, (I have found myself wanting to binge less--a good thing), but I have also found that I have been weighing myself one to three times a day. I find that I weigh myself every morning to make sure that I haven't gained any weight. Today I agreed to have a beer with my husband (a delicious baltic porter) and then worked out for longer than I have before in anticipation of drinking it. I'm a little worried about how I'm handling this.

I'm heading up to Alaska to visit my family and I'm a little worried about gaining weight. They won't have a scale and I won't have an elliptical to work out on, so I guess I'll just have to figure out how to be normal. At least I'm aware of the issues I may have...that is a starting point. Hopefully I won't over-think it all. :-)